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solarican2 karma

Hi! I know I'm a bit late here, but I'm hoping you might see this... I have a fertility psychology question, but my situation is sort of the opposite of everyone here. I have gone through a lot of severe medical trauma as a child and absolutely, 100% never ever want to be pregnant, or go through any unnecessary invasive procedures (eg egg extraction) to have a biological child by other means. But I am facing so much pressure to have a biological child, including from my husband, and it weighs on me.

Two questions:

  1. Do you know how we can get fertility-tested, reliably, without having to extract eggs? It seems like most people start getting tested after they find they can't conceive, and for obvious reasons, I do not want to try to conceive. I am hoping one of us is infertile, which would obviate the pressure to have biological children.

  2. Do you have any other advice for me? I don't want my body to be violated, but I also don't want to deprive my husband of his dream of having fully biological children (no donors involved). Are these health psychology services something he could partake in as well, to process the grief of not being able to have biological children as a practical matter, rather than as a matter of infertility? We're been having this conversation for years, and I feel so stuck. I am aware that at some point, the biological clock will simply run out, but I want the resolution to feel like we came to it together, not like I held the prospective biological child hostage until it was simply too late.

Thank you so much.