TwoIdleHands

Number 2 kills me. Both my kids were born early and went straight to the NICU (my birth experience for kids 1 and 2 matches yours). They received an insane level of care, which I’m thankful for. But for me it was basically, “you’re cool right? See you in 8 weeks!” Thankfully I’m a great advocate for myself and very resourceful but many women aren’t so lucky. I’m absolutely on board with more postpartum care becoming the standard.

I’m a small B, in my 40s. I have large chested friends with back problems, they have permanent divots in their shoulders from bra straps, my aunt got a reduction in her 50s. I’ve had two kids and still go braless in the summer. You’ve said you’re looking at an implant and a small reduction/lift. Get what you want but think about the long term effects of large breasts and talk to your surgeon. One and done is good and you’ll be with your new girls the rest of your life. Get ones that you can be happy with long term!

Just throwing this out there. Many women want to have a midwife at the hospital with them. It’s not just a dr/hospital vs midwife/home discussion. Both mine were with doctors in hospitals. If someone wants a midwife she has had all her prenatal care with at the hospital with her to support her during the birth I’d say that’s cool. Problem is many hospitals don’t want the midwife to be allowed to be there since she’s not their employee. So the mom has to choose between (as she perceives) the type of supportive birth she wants at home or perhaps a less supportive birth process at the hospital. I say combine the two!

I can’t upvote this enough. My partner’s inability to understand this is why our marriage dissolved. If you act like a true partner in life I will boink your brains out, if you treat me like “mom” it ain’t happening. Also wanted to stress non-sexual touch. If every time you touch her it seems sexually driven it can be a real turn off if she’s feeling stressed/over burdened. “Awesome a massage! I’m so stressed (hands move south…) Oh, that massage wasn’t for me, it was for him…”