3cartsofgroceries

My mom passed away last year (not of cancer, but a rare neurological disease; though she was also a cancer survivor). Can you share any general advice on how to productively look at a person’s situation where their entire life was full of trauma and hardships, and meanwhile they themselves were the kindest/nicest person—and then they end up with a horrific terminal disease that causes unimaginable suffering? The whole “why do bad things happen to good people?” question. My dad is very pessimistic and raised me to believe “life isn’t fair” so I know “that’s just the way it is” but that doesn’t help me at all. And one of my therapists has a similar but at least more balanced take that “life is full of good and bad things, and that’s just the way it is.” but that also doesn’t really help me. And I’m not religious, so not much comfort there, though I do believe my mom’s “in a better place” now, but it’s still extremely upsetting to have to witness a slow motion train wreck happen to someone, let alone a person who has endured one rough situation after another. 😞 If there’s no general advice you can give, and it’s more of a case by case basis best suited for working out in therapy, I understand! I do talk to a grief counselor and therapists to help with my many, many issues, including mourning my mom, but just wanted to ask in case you have come up with something you’ve found helps folks in situations like this. Thank you for your time! 💜

Thank you for your response. 💜 I especially appreciate you reminding me grief is really hard, and therapy is hard work. I will indeed keep working towards figuring things out with therapy and within myself, as well as ways to honor my mom.