We are Satchel & Stix from Steel Panther AMA!

If this post gets top upvotes I will show my tits with Steel Panther ink on them.

Lets go!-Stix

Satchel : Do you ever feel bitter about all those guitarists from the 80's who built their entire careers from ripping off your guitar licks?

I get more pussy than most of those dudes, so... no. Satchel

What are your thoughts on Condoms?

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You said condoms!!

Any chance in doing a music video with Katy Perry? Maybe get her topless? Please?

I did a video with her once. There was no music in it though. Satchel

It would be my honor to have you guys run a train on my wife. Can we set this up?

Yes. We can totally set this up. First, we need to see a picture of your wife.-Stix

Being that Steel Panther disappeared for 20 years, and you guys maintained your devilishly epic looks , I theorize that Steel Panther had accidently stumbled into a cryogenics lab at some point in 1988 while on some crazy multi-day bender. I mean, look at Axl Rose, what the hell happened!? What was the first thing upon awakening that astounded you guys?

In all seriousness though, how difficult was it to emerge as a hair metal band in the time period you did? Who would you say was the biggest help to getting the band above ground?

Also what are the chances that we can party together when you guys come around to Jersey again?

It’s death to all but metal, not BUTT metal. \m/

I think people can tell that our music is pure and honest. It rocks. And I also think that people need a little levity... there are plenty of bands out there that take shit waaaay too seriously. We are all old enough now to know that nobody will ever take us seriously. So fuck it.

Do you guys think that members of 80’s metal bands get pissed that you guys get attention these days while they do not?

No. I think they are stoked that we are bringing heavy metal back to the forefront where it belongs!!!!- Stix

What is the best way to avoid getting my heart fucked in the ass?

It's like regular anal sex. The more you do it, the less it hurts bro.-Stix

is Lexxi the brains behind the whole operation? I suspect so...

hahahahahahahhahahahaha. Satchel

Will you ever make a video to "gangbang at the old folks' home"? I need to see it.. for.. stuff.

My mom is filming one for it right now. Satchel

What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

African or European? Satchel

Is bringing your GF to a Steel Panther concert the right thing to do? If so: Right for whom?

yes. It's right for you, your girlfriend, and the band. You get rocked, and we get laid!-Stix

How many bottles of water do you guys go through in a typical night of eating pussy so your mouth doesn't dry up?

I typically use Crystal Lite and Whiskey, so its hard to say how many water bottles I use.- Stix

Stix, have you shown Corey Taylor your penis?

not yet-Stix

Satchel, the new album sounds great, it seems like the "steel panther" sound is completely breaking through, as opposed to previous albums where you could almost pick out bands that directly influenced the song. Was the writing and recording process different this time around, and did you try and carve out a signature sound for your new album?

Second question: Satchel, do you find that bitches get more turned on by a melodic solo, or a fast, flashy solo? As a guitar player myself, this is a crucial question. Thanks for doing this, you guys fucking rock. Cant wait to see you at Starland in may

Most girls don't know the difference between Eddie Van Halen and CC Deville. If you want to get pussy, just grow your hair out and wear spandex! as Far as writing goes.. I write what comes natural.. Our songs are completely organic.

Why DO all your lyrics sound like Dr Seuss?

Because Dr. Suess fuckin rules.
Satchel

Is "Bukkake Tears" a true story?

All of our songs are about true experiences. That's what makes them totally bitchin. Satchel

What do I do If I'm afraid of heavy metal?

What do I do if I'm afraid to rock?

To Rock?

To Roooooooooock?

Don't be afraid........to rock to rock to rooooooooooooooock!!-Stix

Satchel : How do you managed to have a nice girl's ass?

That's 1000 squats every morning before I have my cheerios. Satchel

The world is ending and you can perform one final sex move on a lady. Which one do you do?

I would pull a combo Boston Pancake-Rusty Trombone on a chick! - Stix

Hey guys, my friends and I absolute huge fans of your music, so keep doing what you guys are doing. You're fucking awesome. Now I have to ask...

Which Asian hookers are the best hookers?

I prefer the ones that don't speak any engrish. Satchel

Who in the band has had sex with the fattest girl?

Technically, Lexxi has. I probably have boned the most fat girls, but Lexxi has the record for the actual fattest one!-Stix

Your first two albums were the fuel for a cross-country road trip my friends and I took last summer. "Super Sonic Sex Machine" was the anthem. Where should we go this summer?

Go to a whorehouse. Maybe we will run into you. Satchel

Has anyone in the band sucked cock for money?

Yes- Stix

Was Sarah Silverman gang banged on the set of Death to all but Metal?

no, but I shoved my dick in her mouth to shut her up for a while. Satchel

All You Can Eat is by far the crudest album y'all have done, but also the best. How did y'all start and what made y'all decide to write songs about the things you write about?

We just wanted to keep it fuckin real, so we did!- Stix

In honour of your new album being called All You Can Eat what would your ideal buffet table consist of?

Cocaine, Weed, Liquor, Bitches, and Money.......and pizza, and a taco bar, and a milkshake machine!- Stix

Does Lexxi get any ass?

Yes, he gets a ton of ass. I'm not going to specify whether it's dude or chick ass, but it's a ton!-Stix

My pussy friend thinks we did too many drugs last night. I told him if you want to be bitchin', there's no such thing as too many. How much coke does it take to look as bitchin' as you guys?

It takes a lot of coke to look like us. You can see it in our faces. Just be careful and don't get busted by the cops!!!- Stix

Hey Guys just want to say thanks for doing a AMA, I've been a fan of you guys ever since I saw you guys at the MMRBQ when you guys did Eating Ain't Cheating with Preston Elliot form WMMR. My question for Satchel is what got you into playing guitar and who are your influences. That and when are we going to get the Steel Panther Bitching Covers album. Shock on!!

zeppelin, AC/DC, Maiden, Sabbath, Van Halen... All the classics. Not' sure if we will do a cover album... satchel

Which steel panther song has gotten you guys laid the most?

Gold Digging Whore.-Stix

When was the point that you thought to yourself "wow - we've finally made it"? What made you think it?

P.S Thanks for being so awesome and bringing metal back, with your comedic sense. I came to the first UK show at Download a couple years back...^Iknowallyour real names

When we did this fucking AMA!!!!-Stix

Can I join SP as a pussy pounding super roadie?

Yes. But you will be pounding pussy that's been pounded by several parties of people. Satchel

Whats your favourite shape?

Dodecahedron-Stix

Have any of you eaten while having sex? If so, what's the best food for the ocasion? Keep rockin'!!

I eat all the time during sex. A lot of the bigger girls come with food to the shows. It's a good way to save money for cocaine. Satchel

I LOVE YOU GUYS! What are your spirit animals?

What the fuck is a spirit animal? I think mine would be a panther... Either that or a Trouser snake. Satchel

Would you rather fuck a porcupine or a car exhaust

I'd choose a porcupine covered in car exhaust- because neither of those sound fun on their own.-Stix

What was your favorite song to record? \m/

I liked recording Gloryhole because during the process of tracking that song, I was getting a blowjob!- Stix

What's your favorite way to kill time on the bus between shows?

Getting high and playing UFC 3 Undisputed.-Stix

Fuck, Marry, Kill:

Ke$ha, Miley Cyrus, Lindsay Lohan

That's easy. Kill Ke$ha, Fuck Miley and marry Lindsay Lohan

I say kill em all. Then fuck em. Satchel

Would you rather fight a horse-sized duck, or 100 duck-sized horses?

Dude, I want to party with you. You must have some killer weed. Satchel

You guys are fucking great. Can we be best friends?

Only if you have drugs. And huge tits. And a vag. Satchel

Can you give Starr my phone number?

He already has it. He just isn't calling you.-Stix

As you guys get more pussy after one gig than I'm getting in my whole life - other than playing in the world's most awesome metal band - what's the most foolproof method you know for picking up chicks?

Roofies. THAT works.........everytime.-Stix

How small is Michael Starr's dick?

It won't hurt you, let's just put it that way.

How was my mum?

She's still here... hold on Satchel

If you could work with one heavy metal god, excluding yourselves, who would you work with and why?

Zues. He had bitchin hair and he can wield lightning. That's pretty fuckin metal!!!-Stix

Stix: Are you a fan of Bobby Rock at all? (this guy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPJrDogIHoc)

All jokes aside, you guys are both awesome at your respective instruments.

I am. He is a killer drummer. I think he played with Nelson which automatically makes him rad!- Stix

What musician would you guys like to play with?

Brahms. Satchel

Satchel, my boyfriend gave me full permission to get fucked by you and any other member of the band. Can we make this happen?

Only if your boyfriend has a dick smaller than mine.

How does it feel to be so damn sexy?

It feels really great to be sexy. You get more pussy when you feel sexy.- Stix

How many STDs do each of you have?

We each have 3. Thats because we all pretty much bone the same chicks-Stix

What's the nastiest thing you've ever seen during a show?

A girl's tampon fell out of her vagina while she was on stage with us at the key club!-Stix

Stix i wanna be a good drummer but i also want to be very sexy, on what do i need to concentrate first?

Concentrate on the sexiness. You can always take drum lessons. You will have a hard time finding a "sexy" teacher.- Stix

Guys how much of Ralph's vocals are in the can as a percentage?

Who's Ralph?-Stix

How many boobs have you touched? Thousands?

Also Satchel, how do you replicate every 80's guitar tone flawlessly live? It seriously astounds me.

You guys rock! I love the new album. Fuck yeah!

Millions. And it's all in the fingers. Satchel

HEY YOU, awesome motherfuckers! are polish boobs really the best as Stix and Lexxi once said? :D ps, I love you Satchel !!

Polish titties are pretty fucking unbelievable! They are heavy and thick, which is always fun!!!!-Stix

Hey guys. I'm 19, I'm average looking and i play bass in a bitching rock band. Why I'm still a virgin?

You have to be really good looking if you want to get pussy playing bass. Like, really good looking. Satchel

Wait there are dudes behind that hole at the gloryhole ?

Does it really matter?

Has the internet made things easier for you as a band?

What is the internet?-Stix

Worldwide, where would I find the sluttiest, horniest girls?!

Usually, on Stix's dick after any Steel Panther show.

Me. You. Bed. Now.

Oh.. fuck yeah. Satchel

Hi guy, this question is for satchel....what advise would you give any up and coming band that wanted the rock n roll lifestyle?

Grow your hair, Look fucking hot, have rad songs and grow your hair. Satchel

Don't you feel a little bit guilty about Big Vagina Syndrom?

Sounds like you might be the one who feels guilty, sweetheart..:/

Why does your bassist looks like a shemale?no ofense to your music!

No offense taken! That's bitchin. I'll tell him you said that and he will be happy!!!!-Stix

Who in the band spends the most time at the Glory Hole?

I'm here right now. satchel

pizza hut, mc donalds or taco bell ?

McDonalds. It's like the fucking American Embassy!- Stix