I’m Dr. Kenneth Alexander. As a psychotherapist at Cleveland Clinic, I counsel hundreds of people—particularly men—who are coping with anxiety, isolation, addiction and other mental and emotional effects as we have come out of the COVID-19 pandemi...

Thanks for doing this. My 22-year-old son suffers from anxiety that turned into acute social anxiety during the pandemic. He has been making some progress but my question is how do I best support him? I try to suggest things to get him out of his room/off his devices and he has taken a few steps, but I don't want to push him too far too fast. I feel like he wouldn't be moving forward, though, without my help. Just trying to find the right balance/strategy to help him. Thanks.

What your describing is not unusual in this day and age with the combination of covid isolation and high tech devices in the home. I would suggest your son talk to a therapist about his anxieties and start in a virtual setting through his computer. It would allow him to practice some basic introductory social skills without having to leave the safety of the house. Your policy for not pushing him is a sound one. -KA

Thank you for all the thoughtful questions. I enjoyed answering them! -KA

Is there small on a day to day basis that helps deal with that constant feeling of anxiety?

The best way in minimizing anxiety on a day to day level is referred to as "mindfulness", simply saying that keeping your focus on the present and the task at hand will not eliminate all anxiety, but in most cases, make it far more manageable. It's important to remember that those who struggle with various levels of anxiety, it's due to their focus on the future versus the present. -KA

I'm sure for many people, affordability is an additional deterrent if not a complete barrier to entry. And many men may not have social networks to lean on.

What would you recommend for someone in that position?

It's not clear to me what you mean by entry, but if you are referring to entry into mental health services, community agencies are a good place to start. They can help direct you to what may be available and affordable in your area and help determine what type of care you are looking for. - KA

What medication do you find most helpful in treating anxiety?

Do a lot of the patients you treat suffer from IBS?

Thank you for your questions. Most people respond to the SSRI class of antidepressants as frontline treatment for anxiety.

In regards to IBS, I don't come across it all that often, so it's not a regular component of people who are struggling with anxiety.

• KA

Is there any way for me to be truly not broken anymore?

Yes. It's taking a closer look at the components that have you feeling broken. With the help of a professional, confront those contributors to make you whole again. - KA

I’m glad someone like you is here for this! What do you find is the best path someone (M56) to go one with life after breaking from a 14 year relationship with a wonderful woman who changed my life? The breakup was because of her daughters behavior and lack of accountability (finally leading into selling tricks in her bedroom, selling drugs in front of the house, ending the relationship with a shooting in our living room), we had zero relationship related issues.

First of all, it sounds as if the environment, despite your caring for this woman was highly toxic.

In general, I think people who have ended their relationship benefit from grieving the relationship they have just lost before entering into a new relationship. Sitting down with either a grief counselor (there are many available specializing in relationships) or if you are comfortable, a local clergy could be beneficial.

-KA

Have you seen a successful way of a friend or family member encouraging someone they love to get mental health help? What did they do? I know I can't make people I love get help but it's hard to see them struggle.

It is hard to see loved ones struggle. In cases such as these, this dilemma is quite problematic. It's important for you, the concerned individual, to establish healthy boundaries that allow you not to become part of the person's illness. I would also recommend that you not abandon them and continue to support without it taking an emotional toll on you. -KA

Thank you for joining Parade’s AMA with the Cleveland Clinic and Dr. Kenneth Alexander! May is mental health awareness month so make you are taking the time to care for yourself and helping others. You can follow the Cleveland Clinic or read more about mental health here

How can we get rid off vaccine related inner insecurities(like vaccines are not that much powerful the fact that's spreading by anti vaxers)?

What you are describing seems to be a generalized anxiety regarding the effectiveness of vaccines. It might be beneficial to sit down with a mental health professional or primary care provider to discuss your anxiety about the effectiveness of the vaccines. -KA