IAmA Ex Gang Banger AMA

I like how your proof is just a picture of you being black, lol.

lmfao I dont know what else to do

Good for you for turning your life around!

What are you studying in college?

Thanks I appreciate it. Im currently studying Audio Engineering. I took a stab at IT but music has always been my passion.

I took a stab at IT

Already back to your old ways i see...

haha actually I was more of a shooter.

What's the most amount of gangs you have banged?

Haha

I think the funniest thing is you have posts in r/gonewild.

haha

Been reading your stories, we have a lot in common (Lack of family support being a big one). I'm an ex-skinhead myself. There's a lot of different types, I was the aryan neo-nazi type; wasn't a fun life. And like you, video games and computers saved my ass ;)

Nice

Be back in 30. Gotta go get some smoke.

Edit: forgot about reddit on my phone.

How did you "get out" of being in a gang?

I never really "got out" after my incident I couldnt walk for two months so I had ALOT of time to myself to do ALOT of thinking. My cousin always called me when they were going to do various illegal activity's and I always turned it down. About 5 months after I recovered I signed up for Job Corps without telling anyone and I just packed my things and left. Eventually I just kinda lost touch with everyone except for my cousin who ended up getting killed last year.

Man, I'm sorry to hear that about your cousin. It seems like you didn't have too much difficulty getting out of your gang. Did anyone else try to leave?

If you had a rival gang, why did you guys hate each other?

Congratulations on your recovery, too. :) I hope your graduation comes easily and you find a good job in your field!

We were crips they were bloods mostly. Sadly the brawl that caused all of this was over a female who was sleeping with both sides.

I thought it was meant to be all "bitches aint shit." Is this the case or not?

haha not the case. I know wayyyyy to many people who have died over conflicts because of females.

Congrats on turning your life around! One totally random question: why do so many black men refer to women as females? I just think it sounds weird and oddly clinical . . . .

haha I don't know. I used to call them bitches so I think its an step in the right direction.

I went to job corps myself. Not a gang banger or anything myself, but I got to know a lot of people in your situation. One of my first room mates was a 6 that was marked for death after surviving a shot to the head. I feel for you man.

Yea job corps was filled with people just like me. Its a great program tho.

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Haha this guy knows his Kansas City.

Seriously though, I kind of want to hear the answer to that. What would one have to do besides being an awkward white guy in a sedan? You'll help all awkward white guys everywhere.

They probably wouldn't pay you any mind. You have a higher chance of being involved with a gang if your a black male.

Why the hell are you still wearing your "colors"?

Its just something I never got away from.

i don't blame you, the air max ltd you had on are pretty fresh

Damn I miss those shoes.

You think that's a good idea? I assumed you wanted to get away from all that.

Well I don't live in the hood anymore im in a pretty good neighborhood now. I think its a terrible idea but I don't know anything else. I feel uncomfortable wearing pants that aren't loose fitting or small shirts.

From your story, what's your general opinion on games such as GTA etc that are said to possibly glorify the lifestyle you left?

Not at all. Thoes games dont even come close to what actually happens in the streets. Now movies are a different story.

What is your opinion on gang movies?

I think they can show people a side of life that they would never have a chance to see so I dont think they are bad. Movies like Menace II Society show you what will come from living that lifestyle.

Have you ever seen the show the Wire? It's one of the best shows I have ever seen and tries to give a very real description of gang life.

Yes I have and its probably my favorite tv show of all time.

Is The Wire popular with gang members?

I absolutely loved it, but it was so far from my experience growing up, I actually felt that I learned a lot while watching it.

Most people I know say they hate the "boring" parts so they don't like it.

How was the hierarchy in the gang? How ruthless were they? Is it scary talking to some of your (former) fellow gang members?

I'm very happy for you, friend. Great effort in changing your life.

There was none we all grew up together. We started off as friends/family all from the same hood. Our OG's ( older gang members we looked up to ) were crips so we followed in thier steps.

I often wondered, how often do individual gang members really have a reason of their own to fight with other gangs? I can imagine some politics wherever money and illegal operations are involved, but for kids who are just tailgating their seniors, I guess they don't really know why there is this hostility? Like, violence breeds violence?

It was embedded in our brains that we werent supposed to like them just because they liked red. Also alot of rivalries were carried on from our OG's and younger breeds of gangs they didnt like.

What is the best way for our society to address the gang problem?

Honestly I think its to late. This might sound crazy but most black people in the hood don't know or care about anything but the hood.

Is working with an outreach program for troubled youths in another city something you might be interested in? I'm sure younger kids would look up to you because of your legitimacy and you would have an enormous positive influence.

Its something that I have thought about ALOT lately.

with the way you've conducted this AMA, I think you'd be a really great leader for better things like educating others about escaping the wrong lifestyles.

Thanks I appreciate it.

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Hell yea that would deter me lol. Criminals want to go after easy targets no one wants to go to jail or be killed at the end of the day. When we robbed drug dealers alot of them were carrying.

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Pretty much. When someone puts a gun to your head you dont have time to do anything.

Do you suffer from anxiety after being beaten with a bat? A lot of people end up with post traumatic stress after something like that.

It was more of a wake up call. Before that I thought i was untouchable. For a while I had nightmares but they stopped. I only felt the first hit and i was knocked out for the rest. I woke up 20 mins later and we were in a high speed chase (we got away) then i blacked out again. I woke up about 15 mins later in my bedroom with one of my friends with me. It was a terrible night I had the worst dreams of my that night. I woke up the next day unable to walk or hear and i could hear fluids in my head andy mother made to go to the hospital.

The fact that you were not rushed straight to the hospital is anecdote enough to show what a different life you had than myself and I dare say most of the people on reddit. That is hard core!

Yea that day made me question the people surrounding me. They pretty much dropped me off on my stairs and my friend had to carry me to my room.

I worked at a hospital in STL where gangs would drive by and push people from the car onto the sidewalk for treatment and then drive off. Providers were scared to go out there because another car would drive up and try to finish the job. Thankfully, that was as close as I got.

Shows something that your Mom is the one that made you get help. How's your relationship with her?

Me and my family were never close. Actually that day was the first time she ever told me she loved me.

That got me teary eyed. I'm glad you got to hear those words out of your moms mouth at the least once.

It was a very powerful moment honestly.

Did you ever harm innocent people or rob them? Or were your gang activities strictly related to fighting other gangs?

Sadly yes. We jumped (5 or more of us versus fewer) countless people. We used to rob people for fun. We made money by robbing drug dealers and selling to ones we knew. I have never shot or killed anyone but I have shot at a few people. A few of my friends have shot people and 2 are in prison for life for murder charges.

So you shot and missed obviously. I often wonder if inner city gang members actually get a chance to target practice or if the first time they ever fired a gun was when they fired at someone.

The second one

added proof

I always wanted to know, are there any white people real gang members respect? I always thought the white wanksta is the silliest looking thing in the world. Grats on getting your shit together though.

Shit I don't remember which stand up it was but someone said you have to watch out for the white guy because he has done some crazy shit to get the respect of the black guys he hangs with. That is very true.

You mentioned that you were never close with your own family - would this lead you to be apprehensive about starting a family of your own? Or do you feel that your 'new' life is a solid enough ground to support children?

Awesome AMA

Im actually a family man myself now. Even tho I never had one growing up I always wanted my own to do things the right way.

Would you tell your kids about your past life on the streets?

Yea nobody told me how life really was.

Can you provide a picture with you holding something related to reddit? I think this is a fascinating subject, but we've had a bunch of fakers in this subreddit.

done

Awesome man, thanks!

Did you move out of KC, or did you stick around once you finished Job Corps? Ever run into anyone from your old life?

I live in Olathe Ks now which is about 15 mins south of where I grew up. The thing is I live in the area where they send people who are on section 8 so the hood has flooded over to this area. My cousin was actually killed in this county. Im pretty close so I see old friends all the time. I haven't run into any old enemies yet but I have no felonies or adult charges so I have a concealed carry license and a big ass .40 cal lol so hopefully I never have to use it. I have a daughter now and the very last thing I want is to put her and my girl in danger because of mistakes ive made. My biggest fear to this day is having to shoot someone because of things I did when I was 18 or younger.

Do you worry about putting your picture online? Are there people that would like to find you?

On reddit? hahahahahahahahahahahaha that made my day. Best comment so far.

Sorry but I have to tie this in with the other comment that you still wear your colors, and wonder if you're not endangering everything you've worked to achieve. If you're still seeing people you ran with, and close enough to run into old enemies, you would seem to be putting yourself at risk by wearing colors. Am I wrong?

gangs based on color are disappearing. Its more about blocks now like 2700, 1800, shit like that. If I saw a rival gang member it wouldn't matter what I was wearing.

Was your cousin one who died from a gunshot? Was he only 13?

How did you make your money? Steal cars and sell drugs/guns? Or something else? Was it fairly organized or kind of ramshackle?

If you robbed someone who was a regular straight citizen, I'd like it if you told that story.

And just curious, who are your favorite hip-hop artists?

He was 21 at the time I made a mistake he died 2 years ago (man time flys). A friend of his sold a guy a QP of bud and the guy gave fake money. My cousin was a pretty big guy and was known for knocking guys out with one hit. They guys who killed him were 16 and 17 and they shot him in broad daylight. My cousin was the type of guy that loved the streets and everything about it.

Did the people who shot him get caught?

Yea but they didnt get charged with murder so the oldest brother (17 at the time) gets out in 2 years the younger brother got a little more time.

Being that he was a gang member, do you expect any sort of retaliation for it?

Honestly the older brother will be killed when hes released. My cousin was very active in the streets and he was the leader of his gang and they are some of the craziest people ive ever known.

What do you think is the most effective way to get kids to reconsider life in a gang?

Showing them the bad side. Growing up we always thought there was some glory in gang life. I didnt see the bad side untill I was in to deep and already brainwashed.

How do you suggest showing them the bad side outside of them living it? I mean I grew up around gangs my whole life, moved out, and now that I look back on it I realize it was foolish. At the time though, you're caught up in the moment. Plus, all that "Scared Straight" stuff doesn't really work, because again you're caught up in the moment. Thoughts for a different approach for reaching out to younger kids in this situation?

I wish I knew the answer to that.

So what's the difference between the crips and the bloods?

they're as different as blue and red.

Pretty much.

What video games do you normally play? Do you enjoy playing gang related games?

I play everything from WOW to GTA. Im a pc gamer now so ive become a huge fan of mmos. Anything with a Mage/Magic and im hooked.

It's funny how wow kind of gets it's hooks into all sorts of people. When I was playing we had some friends a few hours north who were into some hood shit in a smaller city. We, being suburban white teenagers knew that they sold some hard drugs and it was always just kind of funny, and we liked hearing stories about the fights they got in and stuff.

Two years ago one got shot in the back of the head when he was mistook for his younger brother, who he was out looking for since he knew he was in trouble. It was unbelievable hearing that such a thing happened to someone we were such good friends with and made us realize just how rough it was where they were.

Yea I was amazed when I met my first black person on wow haha.

Has the loss of hearing in one ear affected your audio engineering studies? Do you require a hearing aid?

The only hearing aid I would be able to wear would have to be surgically implanted into the back of my skull.

I dont know yet im not far enough into schooling to see how its gonna affect me. Ive been making music since I was 12 so I sure the affect will be minimal. I hope lol

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Nice

How prevalent is rape in that sort of community? Also, would you say that more young people are wising up about their situation, and noticing that it will get them nowhere?

Haha we had plenty females so rape wasnt necessary. No I think its worse.

Congrats on getting out!

1. Where did the guns you got come from? Bought? Stolen?

2. What sort of "businesses" did you gang control?

3. Was there an initiation process?

4. How does one prevent themselves from being jumped? Any tips on how to stay safe in gang areas in general?

5. What do you think would help kids get out of gangs the most?

Stay safe out there. Best of luck with your future endeavors.

Guns were passed down or came from robberies. Me and my cousin had twin .45 with extended mags. We didnt control "business" lol we were friends/family with nothing to lose. Shit with the way the new generation are doing things if your in the wrong place at the wrong time you can never be safe. I don't know how to stop or prevent it. My reason was I had no father my mother let me do whatever I wanted shit my school didnt even have my phone number. All I had were my homies they were the only ones who were there for me.

How do you feel about MTV and the black culture that rappers portray?

I hate it. Its the main reason I stopped rapping and switched to engineering. I dont agree with the message and rap music also played a huge role in our lifestyle.

Do you try to steer other younger males who are at risk away from that life style?

Always. I really wanna get into like a big brother program or something like that.

Do you know anything about the person who killed Mac Dre?

They say it was Fat Tone (Who was killed in Vegas By a Mac Dre associate) but that was KCMO im from KCK.

That's hardcore, glad to see you doing good things for your life now. Keep it up!

Totally agree. Turning his life around is more hardcore and manly than anything he's ever done.

Agreed!

Would you say being a gang member was a lucrative career? Y'know, besides the fact that it has a ridiculously high fatality rate.

Shit we made money spent it, then did more dumb shit to repeat the process. It was always about the moment never looking towards the future. We always lived for the day.

What are some of the worst things you guys did to civilians / rival gang members?

Ive seen people beat pretty badly. Not to much worse than that other than people being shot.

As a future educator, I'm interested in your experiences with the education system. Specifically:

How often did you attend school?

What do you feel you learned?

What, in your mind, made a teacher respectable?

At the time, what did you wish teachers did differently?

Is your answer to the last question significantly different now?

I skipped most of the time starting in 7th grade because my school didnt have my number and my mother hasn't seen a grade card since 6th grade. She never went to teacher conferences nothing. I was actually a 'bright" student but I always lost credit due to absences. I was 17/18 with .5 taking alot of freshman classes. The year I got hit was actually my best school year ever I had straight A's but I could only miss 3 more days of school and since I was in the hospital for over a week I lost credit that semester and dropped out for good. Honestly I think someone sitting down with me and telling me there was something different than what knew as life that probably would've made a huge difference I never had that...ever